Formality in English

How can I be respectful in English?

Formality and respect are two different concepts. The first addresses a method of speaking and behaving. The second is giving honor or value to someone. For now, let's talk about how formality is shown in the United States. Sometimes formality and respect can be expressed in the same way and at other times, a phrase can be formal but not always respectful.

Setting is important

Formality in the US is often related to business, court, or university settings. If an American is before a judge for anything from a divorce to a speeding ticket, English is typically spoken in a slower, clearer and more concise manner. The tendency to link or shorten words is usually done less when speaking in a formal way. For example, if a judge asks: "Could you tell me what happened?" A formal answer could be something like "Well, Your Honor, I was returning to work at approximately 2PM when I was suddenly struck by a blue, Chevrolet convertible," rather than "So, I was goin back to work and then I got hit by this Chevy ragtop."

In the United States, we have community colleges, four year colleges and universities. Teachers at community colleges, two year schools after high school, are frequently less formal than instructors at other institutions. Some may even encourage their students to address them by their first names. Four year colleges and universities usually request that their students address their professors with their correct title such as Mr., Ms., or Doctor. In addition, correct grammar and pronunciation is strongly encouraged both orally and in writing.

Business formality is somewhat influenced by its type. Medical settings tend to be more formal and technology workplaces, less so overall. However, when individuals meet to discuss business agreements then language and behavior becomes more formal.

Wedding behavior can certainly be influenced by religion or culture, but in general most people use proper vocabulary and titles. Receptions or parties after weddings are usually much less formal. It is common to hear slang spoken with a lot of faster speaking and more linked and shortened words in conversation after the official ceremony.

English words change depending on formality

English does not have a formal word for you, either singular or plural. There is also not a way to conjugate verbs to show formality, so one needs to learn the most common words used formally and informally. In general, Americans tend to behave informally in most settings so it is important to learn when formal language is required.

Phrasal verbs are extremely common in English and are used far more frequently than formal verb counterparts. For example, it is more common to hear "My car broke down," than "My car stopped working,". One of the most confusing aspects for English learners is how different written English is in the United States compared to spoken English. Written English even in emails is still usually more formal than vocabulary used in spoken English. It would be acceptable to say "Hey, wanna go for lunch?" to a friend, but it would not be standard formal English to ask in this way. A more formal way to invite someone to lunch could be "Would you like to join me for lunch at the restaurant on the corner?"

Some modal verbs could also be used to express formality. Using "would" or "could" is more formal and respectful than "can". In addition, using contractions where two words are combined into one such as "can't", "won't" or "shouldn't" are not acceptable in most academic writing.

Greetings

Unlike many other languages and cultures, American English speakers do not typically great each other with "hello" or "hi". Usually an informal greeting would be "hey" or "what's up" or "what's goin on?". It's interesting that most Americans ask more about situations than how someone is actually feeling. In contrast, formal English would use greetings such as "good morning" or "hello".

Be aware

One of the disadvantages to living in a very informal society is understanding that sometimes respect and formality can be confused. An informal sentence can be respectful, "Can you help me get home today?" Speaking to a professor with "When do you expect to be finished with my paper?" may be correct and even formal but it is not respectful. A better version would be "Could you let me know when I may expect my graded paper?" Learning the art of formality and respect in English is often an ongoing process, but one that is very necessary to successfully navigate many situations in the United States.